The Difference between Expectation and Reality is Taking A Single Step

Turns out, thru hiking is not all about being content and happy, seeing jaw dropping views at every corner. Social media does an amazing job at showing the highs of life but not so much the depressing parts and the negative emotions. Let’s be honest about it. Last week or so I was not happy.

I thought I would be excited stepping over the iconic bridge of the gods into Washington. To enter the last state in the long journey! The truth is, I felt a bit empty inside. To be honest, I was tired. I don’t mean the physical way. I was mentally tired. The border is closed and I expect all of Washington to be covered in smoke. There did not seem to be hope worth hiking and I thought about quiting over and over again.

All of a sudden, the hiking feels like a chore. The final push to finish is nothing more than just a push. A exertion of force to accomplish something.

The way to trout lake was did not improve my mood as I hiked hard 30 mile days in hazy forest with the campfire smell that won’t go away.

Then in Trout Lake, I had to say one more goodbye. I found out a friend is quitting the trail because of the conditions. He planned to catch a ride next morning and make his way to Portland. Another goodbye that made me think more about what I am doing here.

I ended up spending a whole day doing nothing in trout lake as I recovered both physically and mentally. Forgetting all the worries getting lost in Netflix shows and snacks. The next day, I forced myself to pack and got on the back of a pick up as it took a bunch of us back to trail.

First Steps into Goat Rocks

I got off my ride, shouldered my pack and started walking. Goat Rocks is suppose to be the most beautiful section of the PCT. The question is if we are going to see any of it.

You can imagine my surprise and happiness when I stared at Mount Adams clear as it could be. No haze to be seen. Turns out a change of wind blew the haze away from this section and we were in for the full beauty of Goat Rocks. That day turned out to be incredible. We got to see different faces of Mount Adams as we circled around it. Beautiful views, amazing weather and huckleberries and blueberries for the picking on the side of the trail. I never thought this stretch will turn out to be one of the prettiest one.

Waited around for someone to come by to help with this photo

The Knife’s Edge

I woke up from the freezing cold the next morning. Abnormally cold. I have forgotten this kind of cold since the desert in March. Hurriedly, I packed up and started hiking with every layer I brought. The sky was cloudy and misty, again blocking out most of the views in place of the smokey haze. I expected this weather to go away by late morning but this weather stayed with me for a long time as I tried to hike through.

After lots of walking in forest and some stunning views going over a steep. I finally begun the ascent for the knife’s edge. A 3 mile steep climb and then 3 mile section where the trail is right on top of a knife edge ridge, giving fantastic views to both sides.

Unfortunately to my growing disappointment, visibility decreased more and more as I hiked higher. Clouds rolling in to cover everything.

After only half way up the climb, I could barely see 10 feet ahead of me. So much for the fantastic views of knife’s edge. Super disappointed and tired from the huge elevation gain, I wanted nothing more to get out of the freezing wind and out myself as close to town as possible.

Finally, I climbed to the beginning of the knife’s edge and made a sign of relief as I finally was able to complete the long hard climb. At this point, there’s absolutely zero visibility. A day hiker was coming the other direction and I jokingly asked, how’s the view up there? He surprised me with a reply of, “Well, if you take the side trail up Old Snowy Peak, you can get above the clouds. I just came down that way.”

I didn’t even hesitate at that point and turned to Panda, “I’m gonna go up there, wanna come?”

With a nod and an affirmative, we started yet another steep ascent up.

I knew I was in a for a treat when I neared the last 50 feet of Old Snowy. The clouds are… incredibly… Below us. All of a sudden, I noticed the warmth of the sun and the colossal volcanos around us. To the South, Adams stands in its full glory, hidden waist deep in clouds. To the North, Rainier stands like a guardian of this heavenly realm about the swirling, ever changing clouds.

So are you wondering about the title still? I had a lot of time to think while walking in the woods after coming down from that high point, in more than one meaning. I realized that every moment I walk this trail, the PCT is teaching me more about life and how to live it fully.

What happened in the last two days was completely different from my pestimistic expectation of Washington was going to be like. I imagined myself walking through a war zone where the sky is always yellow and nothing can be seen. Turns out, the reality can’t be further from my expectations and all I had to do is to make that first step to experience it for myself. Without putting myself out there, I would’ve only had my expectations to convince myself of the time I would have and might have quit right there.

So keep in mind in whatever you do in life. Sometimes, reality is completely different from your worst expectations and all you have to do is put yourself out there and take a single step to see for yourself.